Two Exceptional Family Member Programs on Joint Base Myer- Henderson Hall collaborated for a workshop that informed parents about the intersection of bullying and children with disabilities.
Marine Corps and Army Exceptional Family Member programs teamed up and offered a workshop to inform and equip parents with strategies to help their children with disabilities who experience being bullied. The class was led by Tina Norris, family engagement specialist from the Parent Advocate Training Center at Memorial Chapel March 8.
“Bullying is a problem in our school system,” said Robin White, Army Exceptional Family Member Program advocate. “No matter where you live, where you go to school or how popular you might be, you have witnessed, caused or been the victim of aggression from your peers.”
Norris spoke to a crowd of approximately 17 people in the fellowship hall. Norris covered a range of topics. Via a PowerPoint presentation, she talked about: why children bully, the dual role of someone being a bully and being bullied, Norris provided tips on what parents can do, encouraged parents to advocate for their children, informed parents about the lack of school procedures concerning bullying and what to do about it, and informed them about federal laws that protect children with disabilities who are bullied.
Norris also spoke about, albeit briefly, about the difference between bullying, conflict and teasing. Norris said making the distinction between the three is key and can help parents discern better understand how to deal with the situation.
“It is essential for parents to know the difference between bullying, teasing, and conflict so that they can better understand what their children are communicating with them,” said Norris. “Bullying is defined as aggressive and unwanted behavior that is intended to harm, intimidate, or humiliate the victim; involves a real or perceived power of imbalance between the aggressor or aggressors and victim; and is repeated over time or causes severe emotional trauma. Teasing, however, is an attempt to irritate or provoke in a playful way as a means to annoy or bother someone. ”
Norris said labeling “a child … a bully when they are, by definition, teasing does not lead to positive outcomes for anyone involved. Learning how to deal with conflict is a life skill that can be taught to children in age-appropriate ways.”
Norris said preventing bullying is a communal responsibility. She said parents, teachers, and school administrators need to work alongside one another for the well-being of the students who experience such behavior.
She also talked about how parents should not respond to children when they inform them of being bullied. Children who are bullied sometimes inform their parents. In those situations, parents reply to the child by advising them to stand up to the bully. Norris said this kind of advice isn’t right and can send the message to the child.
“Telling a child to stand up for themselves can imply that it is the child’s responsibility to handle the situation,” said Norris. “While there is a ring of truth to this statement—being assertive is often a good response. Sending your child back into the situation without further information will probably cause more harm. A more effective response is to brainstorm options with your child about what you can do as a team to respond to the situation.”
There were some in the audience who found the workshop helpful, like Lt. Col. Lucinda Wilson. Wilson, who has an 11-year-old son with epilepsy, said the workshop had a “wealth of information.” The workshop, Wilson said, exposed them to some helpful techniques so that they can engage school administrators about the problem of bullying.
“I think the important thing is to recognize the urgency and significance of advocacy for the child, insuring that there is an environment for the child to feel comfortable and more importantly safe in reporting the circumstance that they’re experience,” explained Wilson.
Wilson said the workshop was good no matter where a person lives —Maryland, Washington D.C., or Virginia—because it provided information about schools bullying policies and about the lack thereof.
“You can at least start with a foundation to ask questions of the administration,” she said.
She said the amount of knowledge given about bullying, arms the parent to be a better advocate. But, added that child advocacy may not look the same everyone.
“Certainly, in some areas, you may have to be a lot more assertive about your advocacy and how you approach,” she said. “In other areas, where there is a permissible environment, like the school my kids are at, you don’t have to be as assertive. You can simply bring to the administration’s attention that there may be a concern and action is taken place. I think it just depends really on what the circumstances are for your particular environment and what administrators you are engaging with.”
Retired Lt. Col. Scott Campbell is the founder and president of Campbell Services, LLC, an advocacy organization. Campbell works with parents who have children with disabilities who are bullied.
Having a workshop that discusses the intersection of bullying and children with disabilities, is important, said Campbell. Campbell said children with disabilities are often targets of bullying—and sometimes are unable to recognize they’re being bullied.
“Particularly, if their being bullied because of their disability that impacts how much of their education they’re going to get and how they’re going interact with their peers,” said Campbell, who has a child with autism. “There are many, many, many reports that site that kids with disabilities are bullied far more than the general student population.”
Campbell said children with disabilities become good targets because some appear to be frail and are perceived as odd by onlookers.
During Norris’ presentation, she mentioned that some kids don’t report because they feel adults aren’t going to respond to their needs. Campbell said among the children with a disability some don’t report because their unable to communicate what’s happening to them.
“They become the easiest of targets,” said Campbell, whose son cannot speak due to his autism and has been bullied.
Community involvement can contribute to easing and perhaps alleviate bullying incidents. Campbell said children with disabilities are helped when a student or teacher sees something wrong and then informs an administrator so that they can take action.
Campbell said parent need to continue their education on the topic. He said parents need to watch their child for signs of bullying. In addition, he said, parents need to stay in constant communication with teachers and administrators and vice-versa.
Pentagram Staff Writer Delonte Harrod can be reached at dharrod@dcmilitary.com.