Left to right, Ryan (Troy Gentile), Drillbit Taylor (Owen Wilson), Wade (Nate Hartley) and Emmit (David Dorfman) conspire to defeat a nasty school bully in ‘‘Drillbit Taylor.”
When two best friends start high school by coming face-to-fist with a sadistic bully, they do what any tech-savvy teen would do (well, like to do): put an ad online for a Soldier-for-hire. What they get is ‘‘Drillbit” Taylor (played by Owen Wilson), a destitute Army veteran living on the beach in Santa Monica filled with stories of Black Ops and Special Forces missions.
Wilson’s signature Dallas-via-Ridgemont High drawl certainly fits the character — it’s tough to tell if Drillbit has the ‘‘thousand-yard stare” or if he’s just a little high. When confronted by the teens about why he’s working for $80 a week when he has all of this military experience, he explained that he was discharged for ‘‘unauthorized heroism.”
‘‘They say it’s an Army of One in the commercials, but they don’t mean it ... unless you mean the Army is all working together as one,” he pauses, the proverbial lightbulb in his head flickering. ‘‘But that’s not how I took it.”
The kids that hire Drillbit are typical movie nerds. Wade (Hollywood newbie Nate Hartley), nicknamed ‘‘Skeletor” because a growth spurt left him freakishly thin, has to deal with his jock of a stepfather and twin stepbrothers that call their dad ‘‘Coach.” He’s the type of kid that would join the French Club, knowing no French whatsoever, trying to get close to his crush.
There’s Ryan, the fat one, played by Troy Gentile (best known for playing a young Jack Black in ‘‘Nacho Libre” and ‘‘Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny”). He’s a suburban kid with a predilection towards gangster rap — at one point he takes on the bully in a rap battle (‘‘like 8 Mile!”), trying to earn respect, but ends up viciously insulting him instead. He also harbors a nagging suspicion that Drillbit isn’t who he says he is.
Emmit (David Dorfman, ‘‘The Ring”) is their hobbit-like tagalong. He joins the gang after Wade rescues him from Filkins, the school bully (Alex Frost, ‘‘Elephant”). It’s because of this intervention that Filkins and his sidekick Ronnie (that’s right, Josh Peck, the chubby geeky kid from Nickelodeon’s ‘‘Drake and Josh” is a tough bully now) target Wade and Ryan.
Using an accidentally assumed post as a substitute teacher, Drillbit (using the name ‘‘Dr. Illbit”) helps guide them through the pitfalls of high school, while he realizes that there’s more to life than living on the beach — namely, a cute English teacher named Lisa (Leslie Mann, ‘‘Knocked Up”) who thinks that Dr. Illbit has broken her streak of loser boyfriends.
The only issue with the movie is its language. Producer Judd Apatow’s wildly successful ‘‘Superbad” slayed theaters with writing that perfectly emulated male high school speech and characters that were straight out of anybody’s yearbook.
But the freshmen who hire the hapless but clever Taylor don’t have the same just-getting-a-hang-of-cussing, obsessed-with-sex-and-Playstation authenticity that one would expect from 15-year-olds. Their naivete is too exaggerated. Their geekiness flirts with being incredibly corny throughout the movie.
But the culprit in this case isn’t poor writing, lackluster directing or sub-par acting. It’s the PG-13 rating and the baggage that brings with it.
Trying to write true teenage dialogue for a younger audience creates a disconnect between the viewers and the characters. The movie is filled with slightly cleaned up versions of vulgar (though commonplace) terms. Like hearing someone cough behind you at a play, it’s those sorts of little things that remind me I’m watching a movie.
But in spite of that, the movie is very funny. Wilson’s line delivery is spot-on and the crew of dazed and deluded homeless men he lives with has a great dynamic. The three teens are funny in a comically nerdy way and the occasional glimpse at their individual home lives makes them more relatable to the viewer. Seeing that they’re only comfortable with each other reinforces their social awkwardness and insecurity, and so by the end of the movie they can transform their insecurity into confidence with each other.