Recently I joined with a group of warriors and family members as they gave honor and memorialized a well respected NCO who had died unexpectedly. This event triggered my own memories of my father who died of a heart attack at the age of 40 without any warning. As a teenager, I searched for purpose in his death, just as many of you searched for purpose in the death of a loved one at war or at home. The search for purpose many times yields little or insufficient answers. Yet, Ecclesiastes 3 tells us:
1) To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: 2) A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; 3) A time to kill, and a time to heal;...4) A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;...7)...a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;8) A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
Additionally, Romans 8:28 tell us:
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
From these writings we can connect the dots to some degree between the things that occur in our lives and the purpose sought by our loving lord.
In birth and death we learn the preciousness of life and the need to prepare for eternity. In planting and plucking up we obtain a sense of the need for new life as a life yields itself for the good of others. Such insight helps to bring purpose out the grief we experience.
Grief is good in that it shows the value the other had in your life and that you are not turned off emotionally. The death of a friend or family member often brings us into closer contact with the life they lived. Our remembrance of their life may challenge us to follow their example, living life to the fullest and blessing others. Or their life may challenge us to not waste ours in being self centered or hurtful to others. The challenge brought by remembrance of their life then yields a purpose of making you live your life better and in view of eternity.
My father’s death was part of what eventually produced a chaplain who seeks to minister comfort and blessings to others. What has the hard things of life produced in you? What purpose is God seeking in your life through the events in your life? Perhaps he is seeking even through death, whether the death of his son, or through the death of your dear one to change you from being bitter to being better. He desires to bless you and make you a blessing. Will you allow him to fulfill that purpose in your life?
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