At age six, we are in the process of transitioning my son to a more mature approach of knowing right from wrong and the deeper meaning of ‘‘Why is it not right to make another child squeal by picking your nose in public and smearing it on them?” Such is the level of philosophy in our home at the present stage of development. For positive rewards, there is this little Italian Gelato store about five minutes from our home and my son has developed a taste for this. It’s getting so that when he knows he’s been pretty good for a certain period of time he’ll ask me: ‘‘Daddy, have I been good? Can we get some ice cream?”

As I began to consider my son making this transition from external motivation to internal, I began to think of the way leadership usually functions in the work place. There is the classic but basic transactional leader: ‘‘If you do this, I’ll do that.” The motivational leader: Think Yoggi Berra ‘‘It ain’t over till it’s over.” There’s the servant leader: ‘‘I’m not happy until you are.” Also the transformational leader: ‘‘Change begins with me...then you...then the system.” There are many other variations on these themes, but they are the big ones.

The Bible demonstrates various aspects of all these styles of leaders, but the interesting thing to me is there is no ‘‘right” or ‘‘wrong” style of leadership. What makes a leader effective or ineffective is the basis of their morals: Are they just? Fair? Do they truly care? Do they treat others the way they would want to be treated? These are a separate set of questions. I have encountered some very skilled leaders who were not moral, used people to achieve their own ends, and did not give credit where credit was due. I have met other leaders who were perhaps not as skilled, yet demonstrated an honest heart of value and integrity. They treated people fairly and put others before their own needs or ego – even their need to be seen as ‘‘in charge.” Some have been quite demanding and driven, but if they were fair but tough people still responded to them.

The Biblical story of Joseph sticks out to me as a prime example of a leader who exemplifies justice, forgiveness and relationship as well as skill. As a young man Joseph was mistreated and sold into slavery by his brothers to a man named Potiphar, an assistant to the Pharaoh of Egypt. There, Joseph worked his way up to a position of trust when the wife of Potiphar propositioned him. He fled rather then succumb to her temptations. Nevertheless she falsely accused him and he was unjustly imprisoned.

Gifted by God to interpret dreams, he was called up from prison to personally serve Pharaoh as one in charge of all the food distribution. Now as an adult, after unjustly suffering for many decades in one situation after another, he was placed in this exalted position at such a time as his brothers came looking for food from Egypt to escape the effects of the famine. At first they did not recognize him, but after some time Joseph finally revealed his identity to them. Joseph, realizing the larger plan of God, forgave his brothers and supplied them with as much food as they needed.

The lesson is the leadership and organizational skills he had would not have meant anything at all if not coupled with his heart to forgive, to flee temptation and a heart to serve even after being jailed on trumped-up charges. Skills can be taught, but integrity must be learned.

As I continue to teach my children, moving them from ‘‘transaction” to more developed types of leadership, I pray that my heart would continue to grow as I value and love them for who they are. I can do this because I believe God values and loves me for who I am and not for what I do. From time to time I find myself asking, ‘‘Where’s the ice cream?” Then I remember that, like Joseph, I am called to first love God, then others as I walk in integrity. It is the condition of one’s heart that matters most.