Whole season on the line – Super Bowl to decide winner

So here we are, nearly ready to begin riding that bullet train to the off season. I for one, say ‘‘Good.” I tire of this season. My season highlight was a 60-yard overtime touchdown catch against the Ravens. Just put one in my skull right now. Like I said last week, I’m going to owe a dinner to one of these knuckleheads, because I just won’t pick the Patriots. Won’t do it.

Let’s go Detroit Tigers!

Giants win.

Allison Ernst
aka No Longer Hannah Montana
Season: 61-34
Points: 69

That’s right... the entire season is on the line with one game. Here’s where the math gets involved. Stop laughing, I have a calculator. Technically, in win-loss percentages, I’m still in second place with a 64.2 win-loss percentage. Jim has a 61.03 win-loss percentage, and Josh scores a 60% even. Bill’s smoking us all with 66.3%. Even if Bill and I pick differently in the Super Bowl and I get it right, he’ll still edge me, seeing that I’ll finish with 64.5% and he’ll finish at 65.6%. Bummer. But, this competition is all about points, and this is where the logic gets involved. Bill and I are separated by three points and Jim’s trying to stay comfortable on a one-point lead over a teenager. If I pick different from everybody else and get it right, I can beat Bill by two points and win this competition twice in a row. Can that happen? Yes. Will it? When Tom Brady falls down an elevator shaft. Now, if Jim has another beserker Giants pick go his way, well... you can just imagine the type of gloating we’ll have to endure.

New England and New York: Yes, I know Tom Brady had a, ahem, ‘‘high ankle sprain” earlier this week. Fluke. You can totally fake a limp. Come on, we’re talking about the 18-0 Patriots. They’re gonna find a way to win. The only gloating that will be worse to endure than Jim’s will be every bandwagon Patriots fan after a 19-0 season. Besides, the Patsies got the Giants, the team they WANTED. Despite that, my vehement opposition to this entire organization grows with every single pass Moss⁄Welker⁄Stallworth⁄whoever catches, I’ve gotta play it safe here and pick the blatantly obvious. Pats, of course.

Jim Jenkins
aka The Man With No Nickname
Season: 58-37
Points: 70

I know we are supposed to be discussing the Super Bowl, but all I can think about is how super stupid Dan Snyder is. It is hard to keep liking the Redskins. He takes a playoff team that has had roughly the same coaching staff for four years – consistency, ooh what a thought -- and had the opportunity to keep it that way, bumping Gregg Williams to head coach. But noooooooo. Danny Boy fires them all; wants to start fresh. Next year’s prediction; Redskins go 4-12.

All right. This is for all the marbles. The whole kit and caboodle. Time to pick the big enchilada. Any one of us can take this to the hoop, smack one out of the stands. But only one will win. There can be only one. Gosh, I love the movie Highlander. OK, enough clichÈs.

Well, I could pick the favorite and be boring like some folks I know. Or I could be bold and daring and go for the underdog. America was founded by the underdog. And I am American. Anyone picking against the underdog would be un-American. Where’s Joe McCarthy when you need him?

Well, I don’t have a cat like some people to help me pick the game. But I read somewhere (ESPN) that a camel named Princess went 11-6 during the regular season and got 8 out of 10 playoff games correct so far. Camels are ugly, but they are smart, or at least lucky.

The heck with all this thinking thing. The only way I can win this shooting match is to beat Bill. I hate to lose my second place spot but the Giants have what it takes to beat the Patriots. They came deadly close in the regular season. If they keep it close, Eli can squeak by. Giants. Now I got to go before I change my mind.

Bill Swanson
aka The Old Curmudgeon
Season: 63-32
Points: 72

In honor of the general stupendousness of the Super Bowl, and my commanding lead, I have decided to make my pick a lovely poem. Here it is. I hope you like it.

Patriots, Patriots, Patriots.

Dan Snyder is a moron.

(And now the second verse:)

Patriots, Patriots, Patriots.

Dan Snyder is a moron.

I stayed up all night getting the first three lines to rhyme, but the fourth one was a bugger. Considering that I picked the Pats during Week One, this was a wee bit of a no-brainer.